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Monday, August 5, 2013

And it All Came to an End

I have not blogged in over three weeks. Sorry! As the end of my summer in D.C. came down to just a few weeks to enjoy, my spare blogging time wasn't a luxury anymore.

This blog became an escape, normally a late night escape, where I could reminisce over my week to rant, rave, rejoice, and recollect my thoughts. My thoughts accumulated over seven days were all laid to rest the moment I put my fingers to the keys. Soothing.

Instead of going over three weeks (individually), let me talk about The Experience...............

"It's over $5,000"

For every pro of the program I answered with the cost-con. I'll be living in the nation's capital for eight weeks, cost-con. I will automatically will have internship placement (great a radio station), cost-con. This will open much opportunities for me, cost-con. You get the point. I battled with myself constantly on what would be the right move for me. Expand my resume or my bank account? Enhance my journalistic skills or keep my pockets tight? I made so many past mistakes, I didn't want to put myself in further debt hole. If that meant I would not do TFAS in the summer, I was okay with that decision--more money saved for me.

My sister really didn't understand why I was holding on to money when I had the financial means to do things that I want to do and participate in programs like TFAS and most importantly college. Then my aunt, she was so excited for me. Between her and my sister I realized "what-ifs" and "I should ofs" are the burden of a nation.

Because I put so much time, thought, money, and myself into TFAS (really whatever I do), I take it all very serious. It was not an option to make my time in D.C. memorable, one I would never forget. If I left feelings as if I needed and wanted to do more, my mission was complete.

"What's a goal"

I didn't have any goals this summer. A goal to me, nothing fancy: something you set out to achieve and then it's over. You're done. You did what you wanted to do. What's next? Everything is an ongoing process to me; my goal in completing my first internship isn't over because I should not and settle for one. My goal on becoming successful is less of a goal everyday. Once I obtain success then I have to keep it. I think it is pointless to have these tons of mini goals when you can just continue the process of doing what you set out to do. In other words: I hate being asked, "what are your goals in life?" Let's say a simple goal: get a job. I leave an interview as a full-time employed worker. Great, I just completed a goal. But having a job is an on going process, is it not?  I made my point, if you missed it oh well, I'm going off on a tangent here.

I honestly did not know what to expect when I got to D.C., I intimidated myself before I even got there. What type of intern would I be? What connections would I make? Would I be useful? The list goes on. I wanted to leave not only an impression on my workplace, peers, professors, but the city. Did I do that?

Once again I fool myself in my capacity of greatness. Self-doubt is the worst form in personal conflicted to be ever committed by a human. That's where my motto comes in: I think I'm just as good as anyone else? Think it's cocky, not even. When you're in a room full of young scholars a.k.a competition (to an extent, the workforce) one cannot think, "what am I doing here?" You have to believe you're part of the best. It'll boost the hell of out your confidence and your life will thank you for it.

"The Dreaded Hours"

Even though classes were at the bottom of my list of things I enjoyed, I survived them. I was burned out with the classes mid July so how I was focusing, the hell if I know. But I left each class with a higher level of intelligence, the point right.

"The Loner"

I didn't do much mingling with the other students, but at the same time I really didn't care to. Not saying that I like to close myself off from other people, I love meeting new people. But Idk, to me, since I was a few days late in arrival; I felt friends and bonds were already made. That didn't bother me, my focus was blazing through the summer and leaving my marks wherever. All the previous posts of my adventures around D.C. were done solo. There were times I wish I had company, but that was only when I need a picture taken, other than that being alone gives you time to think. I was able to not rush, do something at my own pace, and not worry about anyone and whether they were enjoying the moment. Take in the scenery.

"The Experience"

My TFAS experience was special. It was a time where I was tested on my strengths, weaknesses, patience, credibility, the list goes on honestly. I got the chance to take back skills with me that I learned throughout my week that will help me so much along the way. I got to visit sites and meet state representatives, reporters, anchors, writers, magazine founders over the course of eight weeks all thanks to TFAS. I got placed at one of the leading NPR member stations, WAMU 88.5,  of the DMV region and worked as a research/assistant/news reporter/producer. I got to SIT in the house floor of the representatives in the U.S. Capitol building. I attended lectures of movers and shakers in our economy, in our world. I got to hear Senator Rand Paul, Fox News political/judicial analyst, Andrew Napolitano, and meet some pleasurable people.

All in all TFAS gave me what I needed and more. To people who are reading this and don't know what TFAS is or maybe considering the program, take the time to learn more about it or go with your gut instinct. This program is really like a family with the wonderful staff who are there every step of the way and make sure to know who you are as a person. What more could you ask for. I am forever grateful to TFAS.

Also I learned the importance of staying true to yourself. There will be times where I will be tested but I got to experience how much I truly don't take for granted the person that I am today. Who you are can make or break you, you're your biggest critic.

"Thank you"

As I carried over 70 lbs. of luggage, oh yea my first day in D.C. all over again, to the metro because I didn't have cash for a taxi, I thank D.C. for a memorable last day.

To the man at the metro that offered me a metro card between his many compliments because I was searching in my purse for mines and just got out the hospital and possibly had vomit on his shoes and pants, did not remember what happened to him, asked how I stay so "fit", and then asked me "you mixed with something or are you just normal black?" Shout outs for giving me something to talk about. "Normal black" huh. I've been asked and I mixed before (definitely was not the first) but that "normal black" caught me off guard. There is an abnormal blackness population and they must be discovered and normalized.

To Victoria, the University of Kentucky student, that was interning in D.C. and kept me company briefly on out way to Union Station and we ended on southern hospitality with a nice hug. Best wishes girl.

To the Middle Eastern older woman I sat next to on the train, I wish you well.

To the older woman that helped me carry my luggage once I got to the Amtrak station in Savannah and had to wait for a while because my sister was at the bus station instead of the train station. Thank you.

It is little instances like that and my entire time in D.C. where the saying "first impression is the lasting impression" are a truth of test.

I will probably do other posts of my last three weeks in D.C. of just photos (with captions) AND I did tons of cooking and took photos of all my meals.

To all the reader of my blog: thanks for rocking with me. I will still post my work at the radio station as soon as it's published